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The Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse.

Don't let these communication styles destroy your relationships.


John Gottman is probably the most reknown couple therapist in the world.


Visit any therapist or counsellor in Singapore and you'll likely find that they are "Certified Gottman therapists". There are several levels of expertise to get certified in too.


One of the most useful pieces of knowledge he has uncovered through research are the destructive communication patterns used between couples that predict divorce and strain our relationships.


They are known as the Four Horseman, named after the metaphor in the bible's chapter Revelations, which depicts the end of times.


It's helpful to get to know these Four Horsemen and whether they are present in your relationships.


For example, looking back on my relationship with my wife, I'm certainly guilty of times when I've fallen into these traps. I'm now more mindful and remind myself to stop giving in to such behaviours.