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36 Questions to Get Closer to Someone. Or Even Fall in Love.

Skip the small talk, and ask these questions instead.

(Originally posted on

This activity has a reputation of making people fall in love.

Yes I know, the title of this article and this falling in love thing sounds thrashy. Yet, this is a Psychology Blog and I promise you there is research behind this OKAY?

Anyway, to start with an obvious point - to get closer to someone else, we need to be willing to open up ourselves. We need to find some way to get to know them at a deeper level. Likewise, they need to know who I really am inside too.

However, how many times have our first dates been just a series of small talk? Namely, what is your work, hobbies, how many family members, your education blah blah.

It's going to take a while before the both of you really open up.

That said, opening up to someone new isn't always easy.

We might fear that we are coming on too strongly or that we might embarrass ourselves. For example, how would I know what pace the other person wants to take this? Or, what if I'm asking too many invasive questions?